First Impressions, on a Second Glance

First Impressions, on a Second Glance

Author - Amy Kundinger

We had our first visitor last week!  It was her first time to Mexico and I remember clearly the chats we had before she arrived ... just where exactly was San Pancho, were there any resorts in or near town, could she use the water for showers and washing hands,  what would customs be like,  how many pesos would she need and how much were they worth compared to the USD, how would she contact her family in Minnesota, would she get sick, and the biggie - would she be safe? 

Traveling somewhere you have never been before certainly puts your mind into overdrive trying to be prepared for a list of unknowns.  I expected all her questions and concerns, especially the way the entire country of Mexico is portrayed by news in the states.  We talked through everything, but in my Mexico (and international travel) experiences, just like riding a bike, no one can explain it to you in they way you'll directly experience it, you just have to start pedaling  ... learn from pushing your own limits and enjoying the new found freedom you discover on your own. 

As the days approached her arrival I found myself pondering what anyone's first impressions of San Pancho might be.  As you turn off the single lane jungle highway onto the dusty little town's main street you will definitely see the following:

• Poop.  Lots of it.  Horse, dog, chicken, cow, lizard you name it, it's there in ample quantity.
• Dirt, dust, and sand.  Dry season (which it is now) will give you a nice daily dose dust.
• You'll see pick up trucks coming into town with their beds loaded full of young men with bandanna's covering their faces. 
• You'll see machetes in the hands of people walking around town.
• Trash piled high on the curbs, especially if the garbage trucks haven't come in a few days (there is no true schedule.)  Trash does get overturned in the night by stray dogs and cats looking for some tasty scraps.
• Closed up and abandoned buildings, unfinished buildings, and some living conditions far less than you could ever conceive.
• Broken down fencing and wires poking out, and hazards seemingly in every glance (like railing less concrete staircases and random holes in the ground.)

But if you look beyond an initial glance you will see the beauty of San Pancho right in front of you.  I started taking pictures of attributes that make San Pancho so charming to me.  I often take different streets home.  I will take the time to walk places rather than ride my bike just so I can absorb more.  My collection is far from complete:

• You'll see the charm of a cowboy riding his fleet of horses through town or cows meandering along the riverbed. 
• There are at least 3 men (all that remind me of my grandpa) that I see every morning sweeping the debris from the roads and parks with palm tree brooms.  Every morning EVERY SINGLE ONE of these fine gentlemen wave to me and say "buenos dias" as I ride by with Arlo in tow on the way to school.  In fact, I am constantly smiling and waving to people from one end of the town to the other.
• You'll realize that the pick up trucks are taking men eager to work on construction sites along the beachfront at the far end of town.  They come into town at sun up and leave at sun down.  I get waves and smiles from nearly all of these tired and sleepy faces as we both recognize each other in our routine daily exchange.
• You get eye contact with people as they don't have their heads buried into mobile devices.  Strangers almost always greet each other.
• You'll realize no one has a lawnmower or the yard gidgets and gadgets we have in back home.  The machetes are the one stop tool to trim back brush, prune, cut down coconuts, cut sugarcane and harvest crops.  They are carried in simple slings with blades pointed down and away.
• There is indeed more trash as there isn't the infrastructure we are used to in the states.  It is occasionally pulled apart in the night, but it is almost always picked up by the time I am making my trip back from the school.  When the garbage truck doesn't come you'll notice right away and be even more grateful for it's roaring engine rolling through town when it does arrive.  It smells absolutely horrible yet the guys on the truck are smiling and hop on and off the truck as if they don't notice the stench.

• You'll see countless people sweeping their steps and walkway throughout the day. 
• There are gorgeous flowers blooming from every possible corner in rich bursts of pink, purple, yellow, red, orange and fuchsia.  Flowering vines and bushes take over fences.  Pops of color peeking out from rubble.        

• Things like wrought iron are common place here.  While many houses don't have funds for costly windows and even fewer homes have screens, a good portion will have some kind of wrought iron to offer the dual versatility of ventilation and security.  Many houses have cinderblocks with cut outs so there are no windows at all.  But you'd be hard pressed to not see the beauty in the simplicity.  It's a kind of thumbprint.  Mix in color and simple design and there are very few that are exactly the same.  Many are very beautiful and reflect what San Pancho is known for.

• You'll see an abundance of creativity and unique design reflected in the buildings that is truly mind blowing for any town, especially one this tiny.  San Pancho has two paint stores and I always see people hauling out the pails from the store fronts.  Color is embraced here far more than our traditional standard house shades of beige, white and grey.  There are no neon lights or glowing store fronts.  Businesses paint their names and logos on the buildings.  There are stunning murals everywhere.

• Look a little bit closer and you will discover dreamy tucked away nooks that would make one of your pinterest aspiration boards.
• Materials that were discarded or common place have been repurposed thoughtfully to make something beautiful.

• There isn't a way to see the hazards as pretty but I will say this, I am much more present in the moment when I am walking through town and have a much greater sense of awareness to my surroundings.  It has also made my children more focused as well, I love what they point out to me around town.

We all know the saying "You don't get a second chance to make a first impression."  To a degree, I do find truth in the sentiment.  But your first impression is often clouded by your own baggage that you likely don't need to haul around. Imagine what you would be able to pick up if you let a few things go for that second, deeper look.  Most of us are committed to our routines.  They bring us the necessary efficiencies and comfort to get through hectic days with mile long "to do" lists, but we are less able to absorb anything new when plates are so full.  We have an abundance of information at our finger tips.  This gets us speedy and extensive exposure to information, but it is "served up" by algorithms spitting back what they think you want to see or what has proven to drive ratings.  In most cases, this is a fantastic element to living in this day and age but your computer and TV do not have your eyes, heart and mind to experience anything.

It was fun to have witnessed our first visitor transform over the course of her stay.  Her initial concerns faded as her experiences grew.  She saw baby turtles scuttle towards the ocean at sunset, a baby whale playing with his mother in the sea, live music by talented artists, tasted lots of new food, ate up tacos from mindful owners of street restaurants, said "hola" to countless smiling faces, watched kids playing at the community center and tried out yoga for the first time.  She saw people just like you and me that are very proud of their home, town, culture, families and livelihoods.  She also saw why this place is so important to me and my family.  Like me, I don't think it will be her only visit to San Pancho.  This place has a way of getting you to fall in love without really trying.  You just have to give it that second glance.

Checkmate.

Author - Amy Kundinger

February 4th, 2013

It didn't take but a day after our arrival at our rental house to hear our 5 year old, Arlo, proclaim about 1000x that he was bored (envision exasperated little arms with wide open "jazz" hands being thrown up in the air and thrust back down against his hips while giving an eye roll of utter frustration.)  To his defense it was raining, we were very much confined to the house, the yard was filled with dog poop and his selection of activities I had packed were dramatically smaller than the options back home.  With the boredom came tears and time outs....all of which was clearly "unfair" in Arlo's just opinion.    

Andy and I were also struggling to engage both our kids into a new routine.  Seemed the only thing that would keep everyone sane was a movie in our little portable DVD player.  To me, this felt like complete failure.  A huge reason for heading south was to unplug from these black plastic boxes yet here we were huddled around a 9 inch screen ... boys happy to be entertained ... mom and dad happy the boys were no longer taking the wooden planks that kept the window's closed to play "hi-yah" with each other (insert a multitude of other things the boys discovered that were neither safe or "ok" activities to pass the time.)

I couldn't wait for naps.  I couldn't wait for school.  I couldn't wait for bedtime.  I was embarrassed that this these thoughts were primary in my exhausted mommy mind.  There are tons of fabulous moms out there who fill their children's days with creative activity and I couldn't get my boys to color for more than 10 minutes without someone crying how boring it was.  I had packed a ton of fun new activities but nothing did the trick.  What was wrong with me?  With my children?  Seemed my children became experts in testing Andy and me on who would cave in first and pull out one of the 12 DVD's we brought.   Arlo even told us he was getting on a plane for Minneapolis because he shouldn't have to stay here "bored" with mean parents.  Even though I repeatedly told them how fantastic it was going to be, the boys couldn't see the benefits of being here.  Boundaries and routines were blurry at best. 

At home in Minneapolis the boys could play for hours with tractors, the barn and farm animal collection, and trio blocks in their room which was outfitted just for them.  I didn't panic if I didn't have them in direct line of sight.  They had lots of places to go and people they knew.   It took me a couple days in San Pancho to fully realize that their frustrations with all this change were just as real as mine.  Once I started acknowledging to the boys that it was hard to not have your friends, your toys, the places your are familiar with,  the things you like to eat, and comforts of home rather than just assuming I could "entertain" them ... things instantly improved.  Of course this wasn't a light switch where everything turned to "bliss" overnight, but it did move us from treading water to swimming in it.  And it started small with a $1 investment.

When packing our bags for the trip Andy and I had a few differences of opinion on what we should and shouldn't bring ... this item was one of them.  Andy saw that I had two small containers along with a little heap of art supplies that didn't seem to "go" with the other stuff.   I explained it was "cream of tartar" a needed ingredient for playdoh.   Andy was convinced that this item would get us stuck in customs for drug trafficking.  I told him he was crazy and the two little bottles crossed over the boarder with us.   But, I must admit that when we got the "red light" (those that have traveled to Mexico before know the light I am talking about) and custom's did go through our bags, I did say a little prayer they wouldn't raise an eyebrow or need justification on this white powder.  All went well as I am not writing this post from a Mexican prison.

Once I figured out how to use our stove, I whipped up our first batch of pure awesomeness.  Add some playdoh to a few little CATERPILLAR trucks and you have an instant construction site.  There were boulders to pick up, logs to "cut from the forest,"  streets that needed paving, and a ton of dirt to dig.  Plus, I added a kool-aid type packet from Mega (think Target like) to make it bright red which was perfect for making "bricks."  This also came with the added benefit of smelling like Jamaica, a flower drink that is very common (and delicious) here.

We did splurge and buy some trio block sets at Mega as well.  Both the boys love to build ... well, one loves to build and one loves to destroy Godzilla style... and the blocks have provided lots of creative fun.  I am amazed at what Arlo has built from the two sets we purchased.  We have also gotten into the habit of taking a picture before Alden gets his hands on it.

Puzzles from the dollar bin at Target have also paid back dividends.  Arlo would occasionally do a puzzle back home and now requests them almost daily.  He works methodically through the scenes putting his "favorite" parts together first then "gluing" them together with pieces that fill the gaps.  I love puzzle time!  Arlo has taught me a ton with the thoughts he shares while doing the puzzles, like the TRex probably has such little arms because "he's always so angry he'd probably eat his own arms if they were longer." 

Arlo is also a budding writer.  When Alden took a nap one day, Arlo was arranging stickers on a piece of paper and making them "talk" as he positioned them, so Andy grabbed a pencil and started writing down the narrative.  These are hilarious.  Arlo is very proud of his stories and will tell you he is working on a "book."  We'll be in chats with Barnes & Noble when we get back to the states.

We read even more than we did in the states.  We are able to check out books from EntreAmigos.  I only look for books in Spanish or ones that are bi-lingual.  I try to find stories the boys are already familiar with.  The first time through I'll read in English with a couple key words in Spanish and work our way over to reading 100% in Spanish.  This has really helped me become more familiar and comfortable with Spanish and the boys stay interested this way.  I even hear Alden say phrases from the books in Spanish.

Arts and Crafts have also caught on.  This wasn't the case at first ... but as time has gone on I am getting the boys to get engaged in activities like painting and drawing which was more rare back in Minneapolis.  When I tell Alden we can paint, he'll will come peeling around the corner to the bookshelf where I keep art supplies and squeal "it's paint'n time!" like he's signed a contract with Miller Beer.

The concepts of checkers and chess are definitely taking root with Arlo.  I'll be washing dishes and hear Arlo say to Andy... "Daddy, I'd like to move my rook now," "Daddy, you should look out for your Bishop," or - my favorite "Daddy, you know you are in check now, right?"

Even the very simple things are proving to be lots of fun ... like keeping cereal boxes as a garage for cars or a landing pad for a helicopter, or the paper towel tubes as tunnels, or paper airplane flying contests have all been reviewed as "this is cool."

Of course there is the beach, EntreAmigos, Arlo's school, Alden's 3 hour daycare, the basketball/soccer court, and park that we frequent as well.  The beach provides hours of entertainment with endless digging opportunity.  We've also learned that San Pancho has a kite shop where the kites are made right in town.  The owners take the kites down to the beach every Sunday to encourage people to try them out.  It was Arlo's first time flying a kite and he instantly fell in love.  I can tell you that we will be buying one as running up and down the beach has enormous sleeping benefits.  There are also baby turtle releases that happen on the beach at sunset that captivate all of us.  I will write a post about the amazing San Pancho turtle program.  The beach and the parks also get us meeting people.  In San Pancho, the children all play together and it is wonderful.  Language barriers only seem to exist with adults.  Blink your eyes and there will be 15 kids playing tag on the beach.  Bring a soccer ball to the park and instantly you will have a dozen new friends.  Some of these 5 year olds in flip flops would give the famous Pele a run for his money.  The parks are straight out of 1940 or made from recycled/reused goods and they are just as entertaining as the playground mega parks at home.

I've noticed the boys play together better than they did at home.  When Alden is napping Arlo can't wait for him to wake up.  When Arlo comes home from school you'd think a rock star just walked through the front door with the way Alden greets him.  They are sharing even better as we frequent places like EntreAmigos where everything is shared by everyone and all the items we brought with us are intended for both our kids.  I can't say that everyday is perfect (or even close) with two little boys in a small fishing village BUT we have come a very long way from when we first arrived.   With each passing week, the list of "things to DO" here is growing and the things we can't do becomes less in focus.